Crushed

Another poem published  in Us magazine

https://www.thenews.com.pk/magazine/us/136547-POETS-CORNER

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Our story

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Oh my love,

let’s talk about you and me

How you you make me laugh

till I clench my stomach

How that night you told me

you love me like dewdrops in the cozy mornings,

like a starry night with a sparkling moon

like soft music and the waterfall

Oh my love how you held my tears

as if they were pure diamonds

My love,

our story is like a wild dream

or a funny fairy tale.

Memories

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I remember that day

It is crystal clear in my head

How we were laughing together

Your each smile

was a sparkle in my heart

That sparkle never died

although that smile faded away

Now all I do is cherish those memories

that are entwined with my every heartbeat

I have you

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In the world of lies and deceit

My life is being torn apart

But I have you,

my pure water stream

running down

like strings of pearl

Your love is a silver lining

in my cloud of despair

How can this world bring harm to me,

When I have your warmth

to hold me tight when  I lose it all.

What is pure love?

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My whole life I have been unconsciously trying to find the actual, real meaning of love. I have just realized that a few days back when I was probing unconscious affairs of my mind. I have never seen what pure love looks like but I found a concept, an idea inside my unconscious mind which is inside model I have made what pure love should look like. For me, love is caring for others to the highest limit and not wanting something grandiose in return. Because if you want the same treatment back then it is not love, it is more like an exchange system. Pure love is a selfless act not limited by boundaries like society, family, culture etc. People say that mother’s love is a pure but I tend to disagree because most of of the time they (mothers) do want something in return and that may be far fetched but it is there.

And now I know the reason of not seeing pure love because my concept of it is so idealistic. And  alas I have never been able to love anybody according to this concept. I see myself incapable of doing that because it demands high level of self sacrifice. It demands that what ever thing you hold dear to surrender before your love. We are so overwhelmed by the notion of love that in the end we alienate ourselves from it. It is such a self sacrificing act that only a fraction of people can do.

 

 

Crushed

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Tell me, my tormentor

Is my only sin to love thy?

My heart blossomed when you were around

But why o’ why?

You crushed my happiness

with a stamp of a foot

All those beautiful memories,

you drained them down,

mercilessly you broke every vow,

silently you ended it all.

In my fingertips

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I can still feel it

in my hands,

in my heart,

deep down in my fingertips

the ferocity of his love,

the tinkling of his touch,

the warmth of his hug

 and the purity of his heart

In the ocean of your eyes

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I can see your green eyes

twinkling

 And he depth in the ocean of your eyes

I can drown in them

And I know my heart will explode

Cause it is full of blood of your love

Gone

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I held on to you
For immeasurable time
I have kept finding you
In the night sky
I have kept looking out of my window
Hoping against hoping
That I would see you
Like the old times
But all I see is white, cold breeze
Gripping my heart
I haven’t given up
I will find you, my love
I will find you

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